I am
in the dark tunnel
of sickness.
How can everything glint so golden
so blue outside my window,
sun piercing my sensitive eyes…
everyone so happy and gay,
happy in pumpkins and denim and
golden yellow and orange Mums,
cornstalks, and scarecrows
happy days of October
yet-
I, so ill and full of gloom.

October calls in jubilant colors and mild weather

and I feel hot or cold, chill with sweat,
sticky with heat,

miserable with cough and fatigue.

The very weather- seems betrayal, to me.
Breeding ground of sickness…wet, damp, and raw.

Little birds gather in sweet flocks, Squirrels scamper.
Neighbors smile.

I, eating toast,
drinking water, and
swallowing medicines. Full of unpleasant effects.

Feeling sad and dismayed. The house in piles. Unkempt all around.

Weak and tired.

My October.