Endless Gifts. It is time to start counting, again.

Endless Gifts

1.)Avocado. Green, Creamy Goodness. I think this is quite possibly one of my favorite foods, ever. And the day that will go down in our family book of memories… the day Elenorah discovered herself that avocado is very good indeed. Pushed just close enough to my plate- to reach down and swipe skin and all…while I was on the floor changing twins… and we found her, thick shell in hand, smears of delectable green on her cheeks, on her leg, on her mouth, coloring even a bit of a green tongue- and those of you who know me well, can imagine what I was thinking and how I was acting!! And I was very thankful that Avocado has a very, very thick skin that she was not able to chomp into small, chokeable chunks! And, O, the image of her, with that dark curl of skin round her hand and those smears of green goodness.

2.)Frozen Mixed Berries. Those colors streaking across my plate. And my twinsie girls, sharing. How have I not known of this before? What I have been missing all these years.

3.)Coffee with Cinnamon and Whipped Coconut Crème. Happy, happy to have safe, wholesome whipped crème.

4.)Protein Packed Peanut Butter Cups. We found a keeper and O, they can replace a Reese’s cup any day and they are slimming and nutritious!

5.)The feel of her new edge-d teeth against the pad of my finger. Brand new. She was not a fan of producing them. At. All. And she let us all know it. 😉

6.)This piece of art work and all the ways I have been encouraged round my internet “haunts” these days. This showed up in my feed today.

Cast the burden of the present,

along with the sin of the past

and the fear of the future,

upon the Lord,

who

 FORSAKETH NOT

His saints.

– Spurgeon

And I stared, and stared at it. Soaked it. Reminded of this one that also captured me, confronted me from my feed at just the right time.  And I just went back to find it. Here. And am astounded to see that it was almost one year ago, exactly.

“God alone can do what seems impossible. This is the promise of his grace: ‘I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten’ (Joel 2:25). God can give back all those years of sorrow, and you will be the better for them. God will grind sunlight out of your black nights. In the oven of affliction, grace will prepare the bread of delight. Someday you will thank God for all your sadness.”

~Charles Spurgeon

It is fitting to say, that both times, I have stared, and stared, and soaked. And then googled trying to find the Spurgeon source of these quotes. I haven’t. The writing juxtaposed on the photos- it means something to me.

7.)Being asked unexpectedly for homeschool advice

8.)Scouting.

9.)The Erg.

10.)Music Lessons here and also with a sweet, sweet Christian who is now a dear friend. God has shown special kindness and providing grace to our children.

11.)Secrets, held quiet and close.

12.)There was a song in the night. A song. Waking me. Stirring. And I cannot find it again. But it was there – a deep, strong caress. Enfolding.

13.)Life and Breath. And I’m thinking its time, time to gather all our Seeds CDs and play them long, play them often. For a long while, I couldn’t listen to some of them. The pain was too fresh. But I broke through and it is like a flood of grace. Yes, it is time.

Seven Months!

It is with astonishment that I greet 7 months with our sweet Norah. I am astonished to report that she completely skipped size 6-9 month clothing. They are all too short. She is so long. She weighs 20 pounds, which is a record. She is following in the path of her oldest brother. I pray she will be long and lean like he is!

She has the most adorable way of putting her head down and dancin’ her little feet away when placed in her exersaucer, early in the a.m., with baby signing time helping form language connections in her ever active, growing brain. She gets so excited when she hears the music, she dances wholeheartedly. Precious.

I took pictures of the twins in this exact same dress at nine months old. Everywhere we go, all the health and medical professionals always comment about our amazing twins. They were 7pounds13 ounces and 8pounds2ounces at birth- as big as singleton babies and they have grown perfectly and sweetly. Linking their picture to evidence my beautiful tall baby girl. She is my amazing baby girl! It is hard not to feel like I have missed something! She is so big and so active. In fact, she is the most mobile baby we have ever had at this age, with Micah a close second. She loves to move and needs plenty of space! She is trying to crawl. She is trying to crawl!!!

DSCN2593 DSCN2567 DSCN2562DSCN2594

Those slanty, untidy bookshelves in the background. Yeah. I increased the twins’ play space in the family room side of the house and I have realized messy bookshelves- well, they are a big pet peeve of mine! Time to trouble shoot that issue!

Trying to cup the spinning days. Lord, help me. Happy, happy Seven Months my darling.

What She Said

Today, I had to make a hard phone call. It was made even harder by this (precious to me) individual’s amazing knack to always put her finger right on the heartbeat of my fear(s).

And so,

I am now trying to recuperate. It is not going that well. I will be honest.

Just now,I read this. So timely. Timely. For me, this very day.

Hard times for so many. This blog has been an encouragement to me for many years. This woman, mother of 9 also, has a beautiful faith and sound doctrine and I have read here for quite a few years now. Even sent her a personal email before our baby was born, actually.

I do not know what it means to trust for the tank of gas or the groceries. I do not understand. All I can do is the best I can, according to who I am, and what I know, with what I have been given- both materially, and also in my character from the shaping influences of my life. She says it is not pretty. (Actually, she says there is nothing romantic about it…yes.) No, it is not pretty and there is an undeniable toll. Is it wrong to experience the toll? What is trust supposed to look and feel like? I do not understand. I do not know. How can you repent hard enough to cleanse everything so all is well again? Can you even? Can I? Even to be face down, down.  I do not know how to walk in what we would call “George Mueller” provision.  I cannot even rightly sift at this time- what are the storms of life and what is our own wrong doing and foolishness. Whatever is not from faith, is sin. This much the Bible states very clearly. To work, to be a single income family, to homeschool, to public school, to have 2 children to have 10, to be quiverfull, whatever the decisions are, the choices made. If not from faith, sin. But happy is the man who condemns himself not in the thing he approves of.

You can look at a cube a hundred times, a hundred different ways, from every angle- seeing something a little different. Which view is correct?

I have learned it is easy to judge and look upon things in black and white- but there are sometimes, other hues. And God doesn’t look at the external alone- but also at the heart.  And in the justifying of one’s own hard decisions and pain, it seems easy to thrust that forward as something one just might also have to go through. But,

sometimes not. Sometimes not.

And so, in the aftermath of the pulsing sting,

I try to recover and I did find the linked blog post very helpful.

Show yourself faithful, O God. For the Sake of Your Name and Your Covenant of Love- not because of anything in me. Anything. Help me to renew my thinking according to Your Truth. Let our troubles not be cause for stumbling to another.

It is fitting to hide under the shadow of Your Wings.

-Rebecca

One More…

Comforted by this today (youtube link)…

earlier today, this album (Robin Mark Year of Grace) was playing

and…

sharing this song, too.

All my changes come from Him, He who never changes. I am held firm in the grasp of the Rock of all the ages. All is well with my soul. He is God, in control. I know not…all His plans but I know I’m in His Hands. -Robin Mark All Is Well

There is peace in God and with God through Jesus Christ.

-Rebecca

So, sometimes a song…

Note: Youtube links. Please exercise caution as stated before.

(I choose this video because it is actually Matt Redman singing and I prefer that… but there are certainly better videos where the lyrics do not slant in crazy angles across the screen! And watch out for those ads. Yuck.)

So, this song has been singing in my heart.

Persistently the last few days.

Note:in general, I have never felt a strong connection to this or particularly liked it. Yea- that would be true for a few of the songs I have linked lately. Songs I never would have claimed as personal favorites.

Yet, the phrases just keep singing…

so, I check it out. Well.

Comforting, Fitting, Truth, Encouraging, Timely, Appropriate.

All these songs…

their just singing in a new way for me, somehow.

I don’t want to connect with this song because I don’t want to go through the Valley. I am afraid of the Valley. Afraid.

But, you know, many wise women have taught that the grace for today is always available. Not the grace for tomorrow’s fears or whatever unknown imagining my heart can conjure. But for this. For the reality of the day.

So, in this Valley.

I will fear no evil….

For, I know my God is with…

Me.

If My God is With Me…

Whom then shall I Fear, whom then shall I Fear?

Even when I am caught in the middle of the storms of this life, I won’t turn back, I know you are near. -From Matt Redman’s You Never Let Go.

The storms rage and I just want to hunker down in that boat, put my hands over my head and my face in Jesus’ lap until we arrive on the other side.

I’m not going to hunker down though, and I am not going to put my hands over my head. I am going to stand up, stand strong, and face forward.

Because, just when I need it most. He is faithful. He is faithful to remind me… I will fear no evil, for My God is With Me. He is with me. He is with us.

Facing forward,

Rebecca