A month of reflections… I will never capture them all…
And I have lost myself somewhere in the counting…
Do the numbers really matter?
Obviously not to me- for whom details escape like water through a sieve
Or sand through cupped hands…
Holding on to them is hard.
Hard for me.
These are NOT in chronological order…
-The first eye- spy of butterfly flutter; yellow and gold.
-Unexpected appearance of “our” waterfall and Little One who says, “I LOVE the waterfall!” complete with a joyful skip
-Somehow, suddenly, just one day, he is big enough to reach the pedals and I find a little man on a trike racing down the deck. Fast. Faster than I expected and I realize- he is pedaling. Pedaling. Did he grow overnight?
-Candyland- just me and him. And I win. And I don’t want to. And I am stuck on a very hard chair, playing again and again because with just two people- it takes a LONG time to get to Candy Castle. But it is precious to sit- just me and him. And I think at first- maybe I won’t win. I hope I won’t. I get sent all the way back to Mr. Plumpy. But alas, even so- in the end I do.
-Little One creates with Do-A-Dots. And I find him lining them up one by one and pointing to each, naming color after color. Utmost concentration. We put the lids on together and he slides them back in their box- learning colors as he goes.
-A new internet connection. A Droid.
-Learning about different birds with my little ones, and my naturalist- always there- ready with his birdsong book- to add to our experience. He keys in the number- and we hear their songs in real life. We explore several different paintings/photos of each one too. We love.
-A new read aloud time with 6 and 5. First thing in the morning. We snuggle on the couch. This takes the place of the bedtime reading which I never could get to… Right now it is: Little House in the Big Woods and the feel of his blondish head on my shoulder and her girlish interest over the back of my head: priceless. And I am happy and free from guilt and they are happy and loved.
-He finds the first salamanders- he finds one, two- even three. And Little Boy who has been WAITING, WAITING to see a real life Salamander- enchanted and delighted by The Salamander Room – gets to hold one in real life under the tutelage of his much knowledgeable big brother. It is tiny and squirmy. It was found after the rain. Salamander.
-The little boys insisting on making homemade oreos with me and I finally figure out how to let the littlest one help without total demolition. And my little girl- she watches. And I think- we will have to do this together- her and I- because I can see her adept skill in my mind and how she will enjoy forming bitty chocolate cookies. No worries of demolition with her.
-The feel of boys’ buzz cuts under the palm of my hand… specially the two little almost blondies.
-A glorious week of long talks, good food ( at least I thought so), and fellowship with a dear brother and family
-The feel of a sweet niece’s little head against my cheek…her blossoming smiles just for me.
-My sister-in-law’s easy way in the kitchen. How my sink did shine! I was and am still inspired.
-God’s grace enabling to serve in the midst of sickness winding through all the children.
-The opportunity to seek to serve and serve well for the Lord and for love.
-Book Talks. Lots of awesome book talks.
-Thirty-one. I can’t help myself, I really , really enjoy their things.
-Little boys who run and their rounded cheeks jiggle slightly. Littlest Boy- jiggles most- but 5 year old still has some of that baby softness and those blue eyes sparkle and the legs pump. Cheeks round and rosy. They run.
-A really encouraging bible study meeting.
-An unexpected coffee night. And I- taken by surprise- didn’t realize how much I needed the sweet fellowship so easily offered. Grace and Mercy. Reminders to return to some special resources that have blessed me so much in years past. Husband grins. Happy he is to see me in that place again.
-A totally unexpected gift in the mail from a loved family member. Truly God’s grace and their generous love is so evident.
-A breakfast out with a dear son and afterwards we take a brisk sweep through Lowe’s garden center. I laugh when we see the roses. Bunch of very short sticks with a bagged root ball. He laughs too. I pruned so hard. I pruned ours low. We grin. I did it right.
-Lenten Lights. A new Easter tradition for this year. So wonderful. And so appreciative of my love who leads us and leads us well.
-A date night. Delicious food. Time away. Headway made on certain topics. Time together. Sweet friend who blessed. Thank you.
-Chimes that sound different with the direction of the wind.
Life is overwhelming me at times right now- as I work to school our children and prepare for our babies and as my body adjust to twin needs. Not overwhelming in a bad way- but rather consuming. Consuming. My mind is consumed with many, many details and like I wrote above- that is hard for me and it takes a lot of energy and concentration to keep it all straight- but I am committed to slow down. Slow down. See. See life around me. Stop the rushing as best I can… and try to savor.
-How awesome is the Lord- His neverending love and grace. How He loves. How He loves. His love calls me to repentence. His love calls me to praise.