Endless Gifts

I scratched them down on a slip of paper.
Little bits.

The paper lost. Then found again.

The eyes- been dim, the heart, closed tight.

Just a few
Endless Gifts this week… that I have managed to quiet my heart and SEE.

Little One and I… out for our flower walk. And I spy a teeny, tiny baby snail. Just laying on our property. I show the Little One the baby snail. He is entranced. We hold it in our palms. We watch a streak of shiny snail slime appear. Careful, we set it in a thatch of grass to munch and grow. We walk away- but must come back to hold the baby snail again. I try to show the bitty feelers, caution toddler hands… we walk away and Little One waves and waves again…”Bye, Baby Snail!” he says.

The sound of wind on, and in, and through the mountains. The way we hear it before we feel it. The way we see it before we feel it. It rushes through hundreds- probably millions of trees- moving over the mountain- and then, we are caught in it. It is an amazing sound. I stand tall and watch and breathe deep. The spring crispness- it cleanses.

Sweet friend- who came to me and prayed for me- and brought me hot chocolate! Thank you!

First tulip pink on our table- and now a row of them all pink. Pulled tight in rain and grey, opened wide to catch all sunlight. My favorite when tight and pulled, pink and silk. Glad remembrances of an April more than a decade ago (how can that be…. how CAN that be. already.) And I wait- eager, impatient- for all the blooms to burst. And I am dissatisfied with some of it… and I think of how to make it better and what I like and don’t. We plant and learn- that is for sure.
First Tulip Pink.

Little One discovers a patch of ants and he comes running with a shovel- and Tenderheart- he takes him under his wing. 9 year old hand, gentle rests, on 2 year old back. He leads the way and he,big brother, helps him eradicate some ants. Big brothers are the best.

And how, I just can’t help but think that every family should have a two year old… just when they can enjoy it most. The funny things this bright one says… The joy his smallness brings. My mind cannot catch- and I did not write down all that he has said lately-but I am always all astonishment. We have never had one talk like him before… and how I hide the grin at times. The way he plays- all loud and boy… with little foam of boy cresting at his mouth and cars crashing and banging and stories flowing…it makes me laugh. He is loud and I laugh.

How I love all their bright, shining faces, blue eyes and brown- and one grey-green eyed girlie, too…

Endless Gifts.

holy experience

A Scripture Verse for Me

I am clinging to this and it is breaking in- like light shafting through darkness-
but I am still having trouble letting the full Light suffuse the darkness…

John 14:27 ESV

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be trouble, neither them be afraid.” (emphasis mine)

Last night- in the darkness, as sleep and I wrestled, and rest was fleeting and elusive…
I pondered those words… Let Not… let not…
my choosing…

This little verse was the featured theme in one of my sons school lessons yesterday. And the Holy Spirit reminded me- in the darkness, late in the night…
Peace. Let not. Neither…be afraid.

Trying to cling. This day.

A Letter From My Children

Handed to me on Wednesday night.
A night- I cracked and spilt
open all over.
Hanging by a thread
with this childern’s illness that has proven more trying than I expected…

Dear God,
Please guide Mommy and help her. Please guide her as she cares for us. Please protect her and the twins. Please draw her closer to
You and to us. Please help her to stop feeling tired! And help her through her day. Please help her care for Joshua and help her not lose her patience! Help her get our school work done. In You we trust and hope. Amen Micah Nate Abi Jonah Asher

It was a very tired day. Today was better. It has been a challenging sickness. 😦

Gracious Lord, hear the prayers of these little ones and help me to live for You as I live for them and may they see it.

First Hiccups

I have been waiting.
I have been “inside listening.”

I have been wondering.

First bitty hiccups by Baby A.
Deep down in the womb.

First born son- he hiccuped in the womb and I startled- to feel those rhythmic moves and I marveled as the months went by
I could track his growth
the strength of
his hiccups.

And so-
every baby- I have “inside listened” and tracked and they grow and their hiccups grow too.

Baby A.
She is the first one
to hiccup
inside this womb.
This time.

Bitty hiccups.

The Word for me. This Day.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Psalm 143:8
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
For I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
For to you I lift up my soul.

And she took the time to write this out for me. I take the time to let these Words sink deep.

What is your way that we should go, O Lord?

Bless and heal the dear child whose special Scripture is Isaiah 26:3.

I find it so very hard with sick children and the stress that comes with that- to find my focus in the Lord. Any tips?
I was suggested worship music. This really helped.
What do you do?

Endless Gifts

Endless Gifts

First Bouquet of very own daffodils on table
Special breakfast to gladden hearts and set an atmosphere of love and grace
A message from a long-ago friend with sweet Scriptures and prayers
A reminder to set the tone and healing atmosphere with praise and worship. This is your grace. How I need it…
Chocolate chip pancakes with real maple syrup and red ripe strawberries… a rare treat for me.
Little baby girl twins who are a good size for 24 week singletons- let alone multiples. All pleased.
Shining faces of happy children hiking down our road with their Daddy. How fresh and eager they are… how I love.

A tribute to Todd who- seven times now- has gone the extra, extra mile and carried burdens as we carry together the holy privilege of life-gifts in the womb.
I get weaker. He gets stronger. Every time. It never fails. And I am always loved and cherished, praised and enjoyed. I swell with life and he gets a burst of strength- from somewhere down deep, down deep inside.
For all the breakfast feasts he makes. For the delicious Sunday dinners he turns out… for the clean kitchen he left me this morning, cleaned last evening while I slept on the bed after being up hours Saturday night with our two year old… who is ill and didn’t really even take his Sunday nap.
For without attitude and without complaint and with never a word of criticism to me- was the sole energizer in getting us to church- after said night with the two year old.
For washing sheets and changing bedding in the middle of the night and helping me in the midst of my throwing up phobia- which is severe- especially when I am stressed.
For rising in the morning and finding joy in his God, in the Word, in study…
For being the active agent in my nesting needs. I tell. He does. (Thank you love. Thank you…)
For discussing sermons with me and leading us in a beautiful Lenten series on Sunday evenings…

just some Endless Gifts from 3/14-3/21.

The Things They Say: at Two

We gather round the table for morning meeting. Many fighting grouchy spirits responding to the daylight savings disruption.

I lead our morning meeting time.
At the end, I go round the table for our prayer requests.
It is Joshua’s turn. He mumbles a few incoherent words… and then I catch the end.

“And especially for you, with the baby twins in your belly.”

I am so suprised. That is literally what he said. Precious boy. I press my check close to his face.
I ask again to make sure that is, indeed, what he said. It is.

Our spirits lift. I rush to catch the memory in the midst of this morning hustle. And it is a hustle this morning.

“especially for you, with the baby twins in your belly…”

The Things They Say.