Sweet Jonah turned four yesterday…
and I found myself misty-eyed and full of reflections… more so than usual.
Heading up to this birthday… even the few months prior-
I watched my sweet boy- grow taller, lose baby”ness”-
grow in boyhead- head into childhood,
leaving those toddler years behind.
And he was eager. He was sweet.
He was ready, ready to be four.
I, on the other hand, was not so ready.
And I enjoyed those sweet toddler years-
I tried to enjoy every minute- having learned- a little- how quickly
it all spins by.
I shared at a homeschool meeting…
how I just cup the days…
I cup all the days
full in my hands…
days like grains of sifting sands…
and I can’t hold on… I can’t hold back.
They sift and fall away.
I loved his baby days.
I pondered this misty-eyed phenomenon of mine… why so deeply felt in this heart…
why so hard— this time? To meet four, to say “hello”
and to move onto bigger boy things and kindergarten
and days with Daddy.
And I realized… because the seasons are changing…again.
Sweet Jonah was born six weeks before Micah turned six. And then- as now- I found myself in a season of change. And it
flustered me a little. Seemed like every doctor apt. I went to- at that time…
found me sitting with dear medical women…
without me even realizing it, were counseling me on my season changing…
They could hear it in my voice. They could see it in my face.
Micah was growing. He was six. Things were changing. I was leaving “babyland” behind and entering childhood with the first of my treasures.
And, I was nurturing brand- new perceptive Jonah, too… and caring for his sweet newborn self. I was being in stretched in those two different directions. New needs arising from among my brood.
Jonah was a “late” baby. He had to be “helped’ out ten days after his due date… and he was very ripe and ready.
Born fast in less than three hours…
He came on the cusp of March…
the last day of February (when not a leap year, of course).
He has been steady and careful… marching to his own, sweet inner beat with a tender perspective on life.
Jonah was a dream baby. He never cried. He was always so pleasant and sweet. He slept perfectly.
He was so good- he wouldn’t even cry to eat. He was one of those babies I read about in all the medical baby books I own… one of the ones you have to “watch” to make sure they eat. I had to “stay on top” of it all the time… or he wouldn’t feed.
Grammy Helen would hold him and rock him, and in love and surprise she said,
“You have been really blessed…what a good baby.”
And I smiled and said “Yes, yes I truly am…”
I was and I am.
And now- here we are…
Why is this so significant you ask? Four other Borgers have turned four after all…
and as of this writing- four of them have all lost their very first tooth… and the list could go on
as I said- when Jonah was born- Micah was just under six.
I had a home full of babies. Wonderful, blessed babies.
And now- that fifth “baby” is four and Micah is on the cusp of ten. Ten.
My five “Pennsylvania” babies are ” (almost) ten, eight, seven, five, and four”
with dear sweet Joshua(NC sunshine) my only babe in diapers-
toddling round our house and lighting up our lives with his joy.
I am entering full-fledged childhood with the five that started it all.
And I know, even if more babies are given…it is, indeed, a new season.
I tend to greet new seasons with tears. They feel so momentous at times.
Today- on this first day of March- and this first very official day of four-
(yesterday being birthday wonder and chicken nuggets, specialness, and green and blue icing…)
I headed out for “walk” with Little One- and there I discovered, in the cleft of our big rock, a sun yellow crocus.
The first bloom of the year.
The first bloom of the hope I planted last fall.
It greeted the day. It greeted me there. It welcomed March of this new 2010 year.
It smiled on four and on ten soon to be.
I caught Asher’s picture right there… with sun-yellow crocus and buds pushing up…
and I looked over my shoulder and watched Baby run.
He took his first driveway run… up and he went down. He didn’t fall. At all. He ran.
And I stood in that crisp mountain air. Breathed deep.
Welcome New Day! Welcome Four! Welcome March!
Be with all my days Lord… be in and through and around them
and us all…
Bless us and Keep us and Make Your Face shine upon us…
lift up Your countenance upon us, O Lord and fill us with Your peace.