I am- alone.
And the stillness-
it settles over my soul, my mind like a blanket.
Heavy, blank (not blank- for I am there… it just takes time to find me)
and
empty.
Empty- but
not lonely.
Not yet.
Just enough
quiet
to once again
begin
to hear
myself
think…
Just me.
Just me in this place.
With aching foot
and
weary
body.
Weary,
weary
body.
Body that does not do well
with
too little sleep
too many cookies
and
much multi-tasking.
Sometimes-
something
just
has — to–
give.
What is that
thing
that gives?
How can I get it back?
 
What to do…
What to do– first
in this place.
In the Quiet.
 
Is it to Seek You
who are to be
my First Love
and yet
my
days
spin, spin
by
with barely
a
glance
a
prayer
a
heart cry
lifted
up
to
You?
 
Is it
just
to rest.
To lay
in
Quiet
with
no
interruptions
bickerings
quarelling
or
needs.
 
Is it to sit
and
watch
and
listen
and
think
as the quiet
of
this
Christmas-time
cloaks round
my
shoulders
and
I take
my first
true
minutes
to
Ponder-
Your
coming.
You came.
Birthed
into Time.
Held.
To Grow
to be
the Man
for me
to Die.
To take my first true minutes
to think
of You
and
cry.
 
My heart
filled
with endless longings.
for You,
Your Word,
Our time- together.
Where has my first love
gone?
 
I panic
in
these
very
rare
moments
of still
quiet
in my own
true
house.
How should I use this Time?
 
The Deep Quiet
it soothes me,
it settles
me
it washes over me,
my soul.
 
I choose You.
And not You- in some-
I “check this task off my list”
manner
of accomplishing all
my duty
for this day
 (as if I ever manage anyway)
I choose You.
To sit
still
in
Your Presence.
Heart lifted up
and
worship.
Anoint
Your Word
to me.
You came.
This is
my Advent
coming.