I am not patient. I do not like to wait. This is very clear to me.

On Friday, I asked my little boy- my patient one. My gentle, careful, and slow one, to wipe up a spill. He went to work happily. He took the towel I handed him and carefully, thoroughly wiped that spill. He worked carefully in the time I tried to hastily get three things done at once. This little one is three; uncluttered of mind. Patient in spirit. Careful toward details. Unhustled by rush.

He did a perfect job.

I need to s-l-o-w down. Stop. Breathe. Pause. Listen. Shake off the pressure. Work each task thoroughly.I need to follow the steps of my little child.

Patience.

I am always rushing, pushing through my day. Moving my children through their schoolwork, moving through each task to the next…I think I am striving. Striving to get to a place of rest. But where is that rest? It is not found in my day. It is not found in my completion of my tasks. It is not found in “finishing our school day.” Nor in dinner on the table, socks folded, floor picked up.

Where is my resevoir of patience found? Where is my real rest? How can I slow down?

One word: Jesus. My resevoir is found in Him. And sometimes… I need to stop. Slow down. Tune in… to Him. My peace is found in His enabling grace. His Spirit. I confess I haven’t wholly learned this “secret”… the secret of being content and walking in patience. But I recognize it as an ongoing need, a tension in my life… and a path I need to walk.

Patience is

a work of the Holy Spirit in my life. It is also a fruit of the Holy Spirit- a promise for me- found in the new nature God has give me.

Being patient also comes through being

content.

Content in the calling Jesus has given me. Content in the structure and demands of my days. Content in His gracious Hand on my life… orchestrating my days.  Content with the limitations hemming me in.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. Psalm 16:6 (NIV)

Colossians 1:9-14 is so rich and so full of wonderful truth… but for the purpose of the post:

10And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have

great endurance and patience,

 and joyfully 12giving thanks to the Father (NIV)

Since I started this post… I have had even more reasons/circumstances to illuminate my very impatient nature. I have found myself- wrestling against- circumstances I can’t control and events I cannot change. And inside I feel

frustrated.

“But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hand; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and my persecutors!” Psalm 31:14,15 ESV

Those persecutors can even just be the very thoughts in my own head.

May I seek Him and let Him work His perfect work, His strong endurance and steady patience in my heart.